People Pleasing Or Should I Say People Bondage

This is a Word  I spoke for The Changed Hearts I Am Woman - Woman 2 Woman Online Conference. 

Message:

When Angel first asked me to be a part of this conference, I was really excited about it, but at the same time really nervous. God has a funny way of calling those of us who are much more comfortable in the background to the forefront. But I’ve learned that He will be with you every step of the way as He takes you out of your comfort zone. So, one day I was praying and asking God, what it was that He would have me to speak on that I’ve overcome, and He hits me with PEOPLE PLEASING! So that is what I’m going to talk about today. I want to start off by looking at the definition of people pleasing, but before I do that I just want to say this because I don’t you all to take this out of context. There are instances where people pleasing can be good and there’s nothing wrong with it. For instance, husbands and wives desiring to please each other, children wanting to please their parents, etc. Now, the problem arises when it goes to the extreme and you strive to please people over God and you esteem and exalt people and their opinions over God and His opinions. Now, that I’ve got that out of the way; let’s look at the definition of people pleasing.

Definition:

People Pleasing is when who you are and what you do is conditional on the crowd and what they are doing. People Pleasing is a cause and effect thing. Your behavior is based off of the reactions of people. Everything you do is to get a positive reaction or response from people.

            Characteristics of People Pleasers:

1.     Deep rooted inability to stand alone. They have this need for company, this need to not be the only one. They have the Follower Syndrome, they don’t want to lead, they want to follow someone else.

2.     Identity is wrapped up in people and their opinions. They are experiencing an identity crisis because they are searching for validation in people and we know that our identity is found in Christ.

My Story:

Now, how does this relate to me…people pleasing is something that I have struggled with. I guess I should start from the beginning…I grew up in the church. I got saved when I was 8 years old. I was young, excited and eager to learn about God. Then as I grew up, I was around kids that weren’t excited about God and learning about Him and I slowly fell off the Christian train. I wanted to fit in with my peers. I called myself a Christian, but I never picked up my bible or prayed outside of church. I wasn’t until I went off the college and started attending New Life Ministries my sophomore year, that I rededicated my life to God, and I got serious about my relationship with Him. I was 19. After rededicating my life, God surrounded me with like-minded peers who were serious about their relationship with God and on fire for Him. A few years later my surroundings changed. The crowd of people I was around changed. It’s easy to be a Christian when it’s popular, when you are around on fire, souled out Christians, it can be hard when you are around unbelievers or “church folk” (church folk are church members that call themselves Christians, but they simply sit in church, don’t participate, but spectate). I was no longer surrounded by like-minded peers and being the only one, being different…I didn’t want that. I became consumed with what others, specifically my peers thought of me. In essence, the crowd, my surroundings changed and I changed right along with it. I sat on my praise and my worship. I wanted to blend in, not stand out. And that was a problem. God had to show me what I was doing and how trifling I was.

Some Truth About People Pleasing:

There’s a scripture that I want to read, Galatians 1:10, this is the apostle Paul speaking to the church of Galatia, “Obviously I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Let me share some truth with you. Whoever’s opinion you are more concerned with is who you are a servant to or who you are bound to. Are you bound to people or are you bound to God?!? Who’s opinion controls your actions? You either go out of your way for God or you go out of your way for people. If the opinions of people are what is most important to you then you can be a so called Christian one day and then the people around you change and you’re condoning those things that you know God opposes or you’re ready to outright deny God what He is due. This is when the danger with people pleasing comes in…

The Danger With People Pleasing – Why It Must Stop

1.  I just said it, people pleasing will have you denying God what He is due…denying Him the praise He is due, denying Him worship and denying Him all together. You’ll be sitting around saying what if Susie thinks this or Johnny thinks that. I want you to think about this, what if Jesus comes back while you’re in the midst of denying Him what He is due because you are more concerned with people and their opinions?!?

2.  It makes you fickle, which isn’t a good thing. Who you are and what you do is dependent on your surroundings. You go along with what is popular, which can change as often as some women change their hair. When so concerned about people and their opinions, you can be as fickle as a leaf, blown in whatever direction the wind takes you. Your Christianity is like a light switch that is turned on or off depending on the vast majority of those around you. Your Christianity can’t be based on whether or not it’s cool to be a Christian.

3.  It’s bondage! We should change the name from people pleasing to people bondage. God showed me that people pleasing is bondage a while back, but He showed me the depth to which it is bondage while I was reading my Abundant Life devotional for February 28^th. The scripture for this particular devotion was one that I would have never guessed that the author, Nancy Guthrie would use and that’s Matthew 7:13-14, which says, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who chose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” This is what God showed me, You can’t make it through the gateway to life when you are shackled and bound to the crowd! You can’t live a life that is pleasing to God when you’re too busy living to please people. I was at a service a couple years ago and I went up to the altar for prayer and the Prophetess looked at me and said I just strings all over you. And I’m thinking strings?!? What is she talking about strings for, I came up here for prayer! As you have probably figured out, I didn’t get it then. And I had forgotten about it, but God brought it back to my remembrance and gave me a clear picture of what she meant earlier this year. He brought to my mind a marionette doll, those puppets that are controlled by strings that are moved in different directions by a person. 

      It was then that I understood what she meant when she said I see all these strings on you. When you are a people pleaser, you're like a marionette doll that is tugged and pulled in different directions by people. People have a hold on you. I know I’m not the only one to struggle with people pleasing. I want all those struggling to get this: You can’t fit through the narrow gate when there are 20+ people who’s opinions you are attached to, their opinions trump God. Being bound by people and their opinions will have you on the highway to hell (recognize that is the direction the “crowd” is going in, only a few are on the narrow road)! Why? Numero Uno, people have become your god, you exalt them and their opinions above the Father. They are what you treasure, and focus your attention on. You’re more concerned with being well-liked than souls being saved. You’re more concerned with people liking you posts than the Truth and holiness. **Newsflash** You can’t people please your way into heaven! So stop leaving the narrow road that leads to eternal life for the wide road because you are following the crowd. The wide road leads to eternal damnation!

Freedom From People Bondage – Overcoming

So, how can we overcome?!? How can we be free from the chains of people bondage because there is no possible way for you to be completely souled out for God when your soul and very identity is tied to people and their opinions of you and what you do?!?

1.  The first step to being free is recognizing that you are bound. There’s no desire for freedom when an individual doesn’t realize they are in bondage.

2.  The next step is to admit it to yourself and to God. God already knew, but he wants you to come to Him with it, and ask Him to help you and break you of this thing. Jesus came because He saw us bound and He came “to set the captives free,” Luke 4:18.

3.  The next step is to recognize that your identity is found in Christ and not people, their opinions or your popularity with people. Stop looking for validation in fellow creations, your Creator, the Almighty God, validates you. He calls you chosen, a royal priesthood, fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His very image.

4.  Pray and meditate on scriptures that focus on pleasing God rather than man.

5.  Realize that striving to please people is exhausting! That will help you be free from it, when you realize it’s impossible to please everyone.

6.  Check yourself and ask was I most concerned with pleasing God above all else. 

I love you all so much and so does God! Be blessed! And be free from people!

Mariah

Is Prayer Your Steering Wheel Or Your Spare Tire?

            Relationships…there are many different types. There is the relationship between an employer & their employee, mother & daughter, father & son, boyfriend & girlfriend, husband & wife, neighbors, etc. While all these relationships are important, the most important relationship that any of us have is our relationship with God. Our relationship with God should be exalted above any other relationship that we have, but sometimes that is not always the case. I know I am guilty of doing this. If you were to ask someone right now what they have observed is the most important relationship in your life, what do you think they would say? Would they say your relationship with God? Something to think about and check. #idolcheck

            Take a look at all the relationships in your life. One thing that all your thriving relationships have in common is good communication. For any relationship to continue, the two parties involved must talk. They have to communicate with one another. They have to express what they are feeling and they have to be able to listen to each other. Communication involves both parties talking and not at the same time because you are not listening when you are talking. We communicate with God when we pray. I know many times we talk about how prayer is a dialogue and not a monologue, but today I want to talk about this quote from Corrie Ten Boom:

 

            I saw this on Instagram about a month ago and ya’ll should have seen my face…my eyes got so big! This definitely struck a chord with me. #convictedmuch Allow me to tell you what God showed me through this quote, “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” First I want to look at the difference between a steering wheel and a spare tire. Most of you have a car and a job. Thus, you use your steering wheel everyday most likely to take yourself to work, the grocery store, shopping, church, etc. But if you are like me, you don’t use your spare tire nearly as much, often times it is forgotten. I’ve had my car (Her name is April lol), for almost a year and I have yet to be forced to use my spare time. When prayer is your steering wheel it should be like unto a steering wheel, you use/do it every day. You and God communicate every day. You consult and acknowledge Him every day. You live by Proverbs 3:4-5, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” You and God know each other, you are familiar with one another, you’ve had so many conversations. You are aware that your relationship’s growth is dependent on the two of you communicating with one another, just like any other relationship. Those that you are closest too are those that you talk to the most, and nothing stops the communication, not even distance. My best friend, Angel and I talk every single day in some form, usually a couple forms. We text, call, tweet, groupme, facebook chat, Instagram, etc…you get the picture. The same is true with your relationship with God. I Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Never stop praying.” The communication between you and God should never stop. You talk to Him when things are good, bad, happy, sad, ugly, beautiful, etc.

            Let’s look at the other side of this…when God is your spare wheel. This is what God showed me about when God is your spare wheel. Spare wheel, as in you only pray when incidents and accidents come up. Basically you have an IF/THEN prayer life. What is an IF/THEN prayer life?!? It basically means that IF something outrageous happens, something you didn’t see coming, you have exhausted all other options and are forced to turn to God, THEN you pray. God is your backup plan. You only go to Him when you are in great need. But IF that is not the case THEN your prayer life does not exist. YOUR PRAYER LIFE IS CONDITIONAL. #ouchthathurt Certain conditions and prerequisites have to be met in order for you to communicate with God. It sounds really bad when you put it like that doesn’t it? But that’s what it is. If these conditions aren’t met, then you don’t find yourself praying and that shouldn’t be the case. Prayer should be a common occurrence, not a sporadic incident. If you are like me, you are so guilty of this. Essentially, you do your own thing when God is your spare tire, you are in the driver’s seat, you are directing your own path and its only when something goes terribly wrong that you find yourself offering up a prayer. God being your spare tire reminds me of those people in all of our lives that we only hear from and see when someone is sick, dying or getting married. I personally find that incredibly annoying…how do you think God feels. Oh she only talks to me when things get bad or she needs something. It’s like you only acknowledge God when something BIG happens. This is when you need to expand your definition of BIG. God woke you up this morning. That is huge! Someone didn’t wake up this morning, someone passed on during the night. We can’t only acknowledge God when we are forced to do so, when we don’t feel in control, not realizing that we were never in control in the first place. God is in control of the universe, but He is a gentleman and gives us free will and will allow us to take the reins until we realize that He knows far better than us and we let Him take the reins.

            Sometimes we look at our relationship with God and wonder why we aren’t growing and thriving in our relationship with Him. I would say, take a look at your prayer life. How often do you talk to the Father? I saw this on Twitter once, “You are currently as close to God as you want to be.” If talking is a huge part of your good, thriving relationships with people why wouldn’t it be a huge part of your relationship with God. We have to be intentional about setting aside time for God, time to pray and just talk to Him. I myself am still growing in this area y’all and I need to do better. So, how important is your relationship with God? Do you exalt praying to Him, like unto the steering wheel of your car or is praying to Him more like the lowly spare tire in your car, that is often forgotten about until some incident or accident occurs?!? Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?!? #checkyourself I pray that this blesses you like it did me and that if you discover that prayer is like your spare tire that you pray to God and ask Him to help you and that you would make every effort to make prayer your steering wheel. I pray that all of us would have a craving for the time we spend on our knees talking to God, that we would want to talk to Him all the time. I love you all so much and so does God! God bless you!

Mariah

No More Condemnation

There is no more condemnation. This post is inspired by something my best friend, Angel said in her VLOG on Humility.

                Now this is not something I’m proud of, but I’m going to share it anyway. I remember in college cheating on an exam and getting caught. Now this was not the first time I had cheated, but this was the first time I got caught. I had to meet with my professor and discuss what course of action she was going to take against me. I remember going to my dorm, getting in my bed and just laying there with this sinking feeling in my stomach and wondering how I had got to this point. The guilt I felt was overwhelming. I didn’t tell my two best friends at the time because I was too ashamed. I didn’t want them to look at me differently. I nearly broke down when I had to tell my parents. Let’s just say that was the worst Winter Break ever because I was so consumed with my guilt. I ultimately didn’t get what I deserved, my professor showed me mercy and I was not brought up to the Honor Board. I took a failing grade in the class and ended up retaking the class (using a repeat forgiveness) next semester and passing with a B. I remember crying and praying to God and asking Him over and over again to forgive me. I just knew that God wouldn’t forgive me for what I had done. **Added Bonus** I’m gonna throw this in for free. As Christians sometimes we sin once and when there are no immediate consequences or we feel like we haven’t been seen by anyone or got caught (completely forgetting that God sees and knows all! He is omniscient), and we can find ourselves doing that thing again. It’s like if I got away with it once, I can get away with it again. Now, we know this thing that we are doing is wrong. We know its sin and felt guilty the first couple times we did it. But sometimes you do something so many times that you don’t even feel guilty anymore, you’ve become desensitized to your sin. It’s become second nature. You don’t want to ever get to this point! The point where God has to let you hit rock bottom so that you go back to Him and turn away from your sin because you’re not even aware its sin anymore.

                If you’re like me at one point in your life you’ve been consumed by your guilt over something you have done. You’ve known that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, we’ve felt ashamed. And ultimately just felt what I’ve done God can’t forgive me of. I’m here to tell you God can and will forgive you if you come back to Him and repent. What you’ve done does not condemn you. Romans 8:1 tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” You are not condemned for what you’ve done. That is a tactic of the Enemy to prey on your emotions and feelings of guilt and shame and make you think and feel you can’t go back to God after doing what you’ve done; God will not welcome you back or forgive you. The devil is a liar!!! We are not living in Old Testament times where people are stoned to death for the sin they’ve committed. Jesus told the people ready to stone the woman caught in the act of adultery, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” No one was able to condemn to woman and neither did Jesus. He instructed her to go and sin no more.

                One of my favorite worship artists is Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger. I feel like I mention my girl, Steff all the time, but she is amazing! Be sure to check her out, she will have you on your face! There is a video of her on YouTube singing the song Stronger. My favorite part of the song says, “You are stronger, you are stronger. Sin is broken. You have saved me. It is written, Christ is risen. Jesus, you are Lord of all.” Jesus is stronger and bigger and more powerful than your sin. Your sin is not too great that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross didn’t cover it. You’ve not fallen so far from grace that you can’t come back to God. Jesus knew every sin you would ever commit and He still died for you. He still went to Calvary for you. Another part of the song says, “There is love that came for us, humbled to a sinner’s cross. You broke my shame and sinfulness. You rose again victorious.” Stop allowing your sin to have power over you and dictate to you, whether or not you can be forgiven by God. Jesus didn’t die for specific sins, He died for all sins. He died for the worst possible thing you’ve ever done. He died so that horrible sin you committed couldn’t keep you from the Father. The blood Jesus shed on the cross will cover your entire wrap sheet of sins, not just the ones you deem as little sins. His blood that was shed on the cross is your full coverage plan! If you get nothing else from this post, grasp this: Our God is a God that forgives and restores. After Peter denied Christ three times, Jesus didn’t chuck up the deuces and tell Peter he could no longer be a disciple. Jesus forgave him and restored him.  God will forgive you and restore you no matter what you’ve done. You are not condemned, there is no more condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. I pray that this blessed you.

Love you all to pieces,

Mariah

Here is the VLOG on Humility by Angel that I mentioned that inspired this post and the song by Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger. 

Becoming One With God

“Learn to love God first.  Being single with God is learning to become one with God and essentially that’s what marriage is too. The two shall become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24). This is the final quote from a video I saw on Youtube called “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” by Joe Solomon.  I watched this video before preparing to go bed and the becoming one with God is the part of the video that really stuck with me. And I began to wonder how this is possible. So I’m slipping into bed, I’m like its late, time to get some rest and God would not let me go to sleep and He begins to show me how…He shows me how to become one with Him and how it is very much the same as a married couple would become one. When you are one with someone you are existing, acting or considered a single unit, entity, or individual (In this case I am referring to the first two). I’m just going to dive in...

I thought this was a given, but I am going to include it anyways. Before you can become one with God, you have to accept His proposal. He desires a committed relationship with you. You accept His proposal when confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and then you are saved (Romans 10:9) and have entered in to a relationship with God. Now, here is what God showed me…How to become one with God.

1.      Expose Yourself Completely. Bring all your mess to the table. No secrets! A couple weeks ago I was having Quiet Time and I was reading and studying in the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 25, which says, “Now the man and his wife were both naked but they felt no shame.” I have an NLT Life Application Study Bible and the commentary for this verse straight went in! I’m just going to summarize it, for the entire quote, check out the picture below. My bible started off by talking about how innocent children are to nakedness; they feel no shame. It goes on to say this was how Adam and Eve were before they sinned. But after they sinned they felt shame and awkwardness and this in turn created barriers between them and God. They even had a physical barrier they created to hide themselves in fig leaves. The commentary then talked about how ideally there should be no barriers in marriage but barriers are often experienced in marriages. After reading that commentary God hit me with this, “Have you exposed yourself completely to me or do you still have on your fig leaves?!?” #completelywrecked We can never become one with God if we refuse to show Him all of us and insist on hiding those parts of us we are to ashamed to show Him. My older sister and my brother-in-law told me once that when they got engaged they sat down with one another and put everything on the table. They discussed their debt, the credit scores, etc. They put everything out there so they could prepare for their life together and so there would be no secrets between them and no surprises down the road. God is saying that if we want to be one with Him, we have to expose ourselves completely to Him and stop hiding, and to come to Him with everything out in the open. He is saying show me every compartment of your heart, bring me your impure thoughts. He knows that we hide because we feel shame and we don’t want Him to see this ugly part of us, but He is the only one that can clean us up. Also remember that He makes all things new y’all (II Corinthians 5:17). Let Him create within you a clean heart (Psalm 51:10), and allow Him to renew your mind (Romans 12:2) and change your way of thinking. But for him to make us new and clean, for Him to transform us we have to expose ourselves completely to Him. And this in turn also brings us closer to Him and to becoming one with Him.

2.      Stop Operating As If You Are Independent And Submit. So this one has two parts. I’m gonna start with the first part…When you are independent you are not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc., you are doing the exact opposite, you are thinking or acting for oneself. You can never become one with God if you continue to operate as if it’s just you and there is absolutely no consideration or consultation of God. His opinion is of little importance to you and you just act based on what you think and what you feel. You are concerned with your will, not God’s will for your life. To become one with God we have to live by Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take.” King Solomon is clearly trying to impart some wisdom into us. Stop depending on yourself and what you think you understand and seek God’s will in all that you do. If you were married or are married it just wouldn’t work if one of you insisted on acting as if you were still single…not consulting the other and just making decisions based on your preferences and not taking your spouse into consideration. The same is true if we desire to be one with God. We must submit. We must yield to God. We can’t be one with God if we have two different agendas.  You and God need to be on one accord.

3.      Communication and Quality Time. Communication is vital to any relationship. You commune with God through prayer. You can’t expect to be one with God if your prayer life is nonexistent! You must communicate with God and allow Him the opportunity to speak to you. Prayer is not a monologue, it’s a dialogue. A huge part of communication is listening. You can’t hear God when you’re always the one talking. Sometimes you need to just be still and listen. Effective communication is a two-way street that leaves both feeling that they were heard. **Added bonus: You will never become one if the person you communicate the most with concerning your relationship is someone outside of your relationship (a third party). You have to talk to God. Quality time goes hand in hand with communication. You must spend time with someone if you are ever to become one with them. You can’t go days and weeks and months without spending quality time with God in prayer, bible study, praise & worship, etc. and then expect to be in a growing, thriving relationship with Him. Don’t deceive yourself. Time spent together is so important.

4.      Stick It Out. You and God have got to weather through some stuff together, some trials, some storms, some tribulations, some ups and some downs and you have to refuse to forsake Him because He will never forsake you. Instead of running away and abandoning God when things get hard, you have to choose to remain faithful. Divorce cannot be an option, if we are to become one and stay one. That door must be closed and in essence not even exist in your relationship. Situational changes shouldn’t pull you apart, but draw you closer to one another. There is nothing like those friends that have been with you through it all and have stuck with you and rocked with you through every season. They have simply been faithful and loyal to you. I have found that those are the people that I am the closest to. Here’s something to think about…Would God call you faithful?!? Is that a word He would use to describe you? That question stopped me in my tracks. I know for me that is something that I need to work on and I will get there with the help of God. But God showed me that if I can’t remain faithful to Him, what makes me think I’m ready to get married?!? If I can’t weather some storms with God, how can I possibly weather some storms with a husband?!? God is still molding, pruning, and shaping me y’all. God then showed me that for so many people, when it comes to marriage cheating is a deal breaker; it’s something they can’t get past. But how often do we cheat on God?!? We should work our hardest and call on God to help us to remain faithful and develop that characteristic within us.

5.      Let Go Of Lovers. Your lover, your sidechick, your lil boyfriend, your mistress, etc got to go! Who or what are your lovers you may ask? Your lovers are anything that rivals and competes for your attention and affection and hinders your relationship with God; they keep you from becoming one with God. Just like God instructs a husband to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24), you must leave to cleave. There are some things, people, behaviors, habits, etc you have to leave behind in order for your relationship with God to work and for the two of you to become one. You have to leave the things of this world behind and cleave to God. You can’t be joined to God if you refuse to let go and leave your sin behind. You can’t ever become one with God if the devil has custody of part of you. “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other…” (Matthew 6:24). I was having my Quiet Time when God smacked me in the face with this, “How can we be joined if polygamy is going on?!? How can we be joined solely to each other when there are third and fourth parties involved. Just look at the result of Jacob being married to both Rachel and Leah. Sisters became competitors and rivals, each desiring the love and attention and children of their husband Jacob (Genesis 30:1-24). There was no way for Jacob to ever be completely one with either of them because the other was always waiting in the wings.

Becoming one with God is possible, but it’s not something that will happen overnight, it comes with sticking with God through it all, the good, the bad, the hard, and the harder. I pray that this blessed you. I love you all so much! 

Mariah

P.S. I talk about my girl, Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger all the time, so I decided to share some videos of her leading worship at Bethel Church. She is a true worshiper and she will have you on your face crying out to God and just worshiping Him!!! The first video is Stef singing Stronger and the second one is her singing Show Me Your Glory. Also be sure to more of Joe Solomon's videos on YouTube (His YouTube channel is Chasegodtv)! He is an awesome man of God! All is videos are based in the Word. 

Know Your Opponent: The Enemy's Playbook Part II

I just want to review a little bit from my previous blog, Know Your Opponent: The Enemy's Playbook Part I. As Christians we are in spiritual warfare. Spiritual Warfare means that we as Christians are involved in a war. We are soldiers waging war against the enemy. I believe the best definition for spiritual warfare is found in Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We are soldiers in the army of the Lord and every day we have to fight the devil. Now in order to be the most effective soldier possible we must first do as Paul instructs us in Ephesians 6:10-11, 13-18:

¹⁰ A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. ¹⁴ Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. ¹⁵ For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.^[d]16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.^[e] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.^[f]

Paul gives us specific instructions. He tells us to 1) Be strong in the Lord. Remember that His strength is made perfect in your weakness (II Corinthians 12:9). Realize how dependent you are on God. Without Him you can do nothing, rely on Him. 2) Put on all of God’s armor so you can stand firm/rooted against the strategies of the devil. God showed me this awhile back….Going out without having spent time with God, without devotions, without praying, without diving into the Word of God is like going to battle naked! It’s like going to battle with absolutely no armor. It’s going out without a covering. It’s going out and forgetting your weapons. If you saw someone going to war with no armor, no gun, no weapons you would think they were crazy, disillusioned, and potentially suicidal. The same is true for us as children of God (This is an area that I need to grow more in myself y’all, God’s still developing me). Stop going out without your covering! 3) He also tells us to pray at all times and at every occasion. This means that we don’t just go to God when our situation is a mess, but we go to Him when things are good, bad, ugly, beautiful, difficult, easy, etc. 4) He lastly tells us to be alert and persistent in our prayers for other believers. Prayer isn't just about you, others need your prayers too. All these things will make you an effective soldier in spiritual warfare.

So now that you know to put on the whole armor of God, let’s talk about knowing your opponent. Now we all know who our opponent is, but there is a difference between knowing who your opponent is and knowing about your opponent. While it’s great to know who your opponent is, it doesn't really give you anything to go on.  You need to know him, how he operates, you need to know his tactics and tendencies. Don’t you realize that he knows your’s?!? The devil studies you. He knows your strengths, your weaknesses, your likes, your dislikes, your past, your family, your friends, your fears, and yes he knows your type and you better believe He will send you a man that looks like Lance Gross to try to get you to fall! We need to know the enemy, so that we are fully prepared when he attacks. We need to be prepared to the point where we can anticipate what he’s going to do and we aren't taken by surprise when he pulls out certain plays.

So let’s dive in. The first thing you need to know is the devil’s motive, what is he trying to gain? What is his ultimate goal and purpose? John 10:10 tells us the answer to that question, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” The devil is ultimately out for your destruction. His goal is to take you out. He can’t afford to have you out there making more disciples, walking in your calling, and fulfilling your purpose. He desires that as many as possible join him in hell for eternal damnation (Misery loves company y’all!). So each and every day he will try to pull you away from God and onto his side.

The next thing you need to know about the enemy is his tactics. God has given us the inside scoop, the Bible is littered with the devil’s tactics (We got the devils playbook in the bible y’all.  And better than that we have in the bible counterattacks to the attacks of the Enemy. God’s got our backs! He has already mapped out the game plan!). As Christians in today’s age, we can see how Satan used specific tactics on other believers. We see some caught in the Enemy’s traps and others that manage to escape. So now on to the tactics of the Enemy…In my previous blog I talked about doubt, discouragement, diversion, and defeat. Below are some other tactics of the Enemy...

The next tactic of the Enemy is DELAY/PROCRASTINATION. To delay is to put off to a later time; defer; postpone; procrastination. So God kinda smacked me in the face with this one because the devil uses this one of me all the time, you would think I would have wised up by now. But I see now what the devil is doing through this. If you’re like me and you put off things of God, like for me I can think of times where I put off Quiet Time saying Oh God I’ll spend time with you in prayer and in the Word later, and then I keep putting it off and putting it off and the next thing I know the day is over, I’m exhausted and I don’t feel like having Quiet Time and I pull out my bible anyway and then decide Oh I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a minute and lay down. And many times I have laid down and felt that nudge…You didn’t spend time with me. I miss you. And what do I do I roll over and go to sleep. Why you may ask?!? Because when you've put something off once it’s so easy to put it off again. Delay usually leads to things not getting done. Do things when you’re supposed too, do them when God tells you too and don’t put it off because you know what, if you delay that thing you most likely won’t do it. **Added Bonus** The deeper question you need to ask yourself when it comes to delay is: Is this more important than God? And the answer will always be NO! Stop putting off God. We need to have a give me you, everything else can wait spirit (Check out that song by Shana Wilson ~Give Me You) when it comes to God.

The next tactic of the Enemy is DIVISION. To divide is to separate into parts, groups, sections. Paul tells the church of Corinth this in I Corinthians 1:10, “I appeal to you brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather be of one mind united in thought and purpose.” As Christians we have to stop fighting against our own team. We all have the same uniform on, but so many times it’s like we’re playing offense against our own team. There are so many little petty things that divide the church today. This is a tactic of the Enemy, for petty things to divide us. Realize that division makes us less effective. We can do so much more, we can be so much more effective if we would unite and not allow little things to get in the way of doing what God has called all of us to do and that is to make disciples. The time spent arguing and deciding who is right and who is wrong could be better spent winning souls for God. People are out there dying and going to hell and we’re trying to figure out whether or not it’s right to have a tattoo. Souls are more important than these petty things that have us divided. Let’s unite no more of this division.

Another tactic of the Enemy is APPEALING TO YOUR FLESH. The thing our flesh desires more than anything is to be pleasured. Satan appeals to your desire to be pleasured and to feel good. In order to stand against this tactic of the Enemy, you have to feed your spirit man so that he’s big and strong and starve your flesh so that it is weak. It’s in those moments when you allow your flesh to become Lebron James and you spirit man is over there looking like a malnourished child that the devil gets you with this one. Feed your spirit man!

The next tactic of the Enemy is APPEALING TO YOUR EYES. The devil is very much so aware that many of us are visual people. We love for things to look beautiful. Therefore, he has become a master at presenting things in the most beautiful way possible; he’s great at advertising y’all. He knows for many of us something looking beautiful will immediately draw us in. Remember that looks can be deceiving. The devil knows what you desire and what you’re attracted to and he will send it to you all wrapped up and pretty on the outside and the spawn of Satan on the inside! I don’t care if he looks like Trey Songz or she looks like Meagan Good that could be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Also don’t be blinded by the outer appearance of something that you miss the signs that God is not in this, He is not in that person. Pray and ask God for a spirit of discernment, so that you aren't deceived by the Enemy. Now that you know the devil will appeal to your eyes, realize even more so how important it is to guard what you put before your eyes.

Another tactic of the Enemy is BRINGING UP YOUR PAST. Satan loves to bring up your past and make you feel like you’re not good enough. He loves to come at you with used to bes…You used to be a cheater how are you going to be a teacher the Word of God…you used to be a prostitute, who are you to be over anyone’s Woman’s ministry…you used to be out there fornicating like it was your job how are going to be a youth pastor…The devil will use your past to try to disqualify you from doing what God has called you to do. Everyone in the bible that was used by God was something before God and did something that could deem them unworthy…David was a murderer and adulterer, Moses was a murderer, Jacob was a trickster, Solomon loved women too much, Thomas doubted, Peter had a tendency to run off at the mouth (I am convinced Peter was a thug lol), Paul persecuted Christians, Rahab was a prostitute…but God chose to use them anyway. You've been chosen by God and Jesus died for all you transgressions. When the devil comes at you trying to bring up your past, tell him you are a new creature through Christ Jesus, behold old things have passed away and all things have been made new. Your past doesn't dictate your present or your future and it doesn't control you. And yes you still will mess up but God forgives.

You have to know your opponent in order to fight effectively and ultimately win. I pray that this a the previous blog as well as all of my blogs bless you. I love you so much!!!

Mariah

(All definitions are from Dictionary.com)

Know Your Opponent: The Enemy's Playbook Part I

Now, I’m not one of those women that is really into sports, but I've seen enough sporting events and sports movies to know that it’s really important to know your opponent and what you are going up against, to know their strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. Good coaches have their players study tapes of different teams they will play in the future, to prepare them for what is to come. They study the plays and the players on the opposing team. They practice for hours, they go over their own plays over and over again, they make improvements, they make sure to take care of their bodies, they make sure they get rest, they do everything in their power to prepare and make sure they really know their opponent and are ready to truly fight for the win. As Christians we are in spiritual warfare. Spiritual Warfare means that we as Christians are involved in a war. We are soldiers waging war against the enemy. I believe the best definition for spiritual warfare is found in Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We are soldiers in the army of the Lord and every day we have to fight the devil. Now in order to be the most effective soldier possible we must first do as Paul instructs us in Ephesians 6:10-11, 13-18:

¹⁰ A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. ¹⁴ Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. ¹⁵ For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.^[d]16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.^[e] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.^[f]

Paul gives us specific instructions. He tells us to 1) Be strong in the Lord. Remember that His strength is made perfect in your weakness (II Corinthians 12:9). Realize how dependent you are on God. Without Him you can do nothing, rely on Him. 2) Put on all of God’s armor so you can stand firm/rooted against the strategies of the devil. God showed me this awhile back….Going out without having spent time with God, without devotions, without praying, without diving into the Word of God is like going to battle naked! It’s like going to battle with absolutely no armor. It’s going out without a covering. It’s going out and forgetting your weapons. If you saw someone going to war with no armor, no gun, no weapons you would think they were crazy, disillusioned, and potentially suicidal. The same is true for us as children of God (This is an area that I need to grow more in myself y’all, God’s still developing me). Stop going out without your covering! 3) He also tells us to pray at all times and at every occasion. This means that we don’t just go to God when our situation is a mess, but we go to Him when things are good, bad, ugly, beautiful, difficult, easy, etc. 4) He lastly tells us to be alert and persistent in our prayers for other believers. Prayer isn’t just about you, others need your prayers too. All these things will make you an effective soldier in spiritual warfare.

So now that you know to put on the whole armor of God, let’s talk about knowing your opponent. Now we all know who our opponent is, but there is a difference between knowing who your opponent is and knowing about your opponent. While it’s great to know who your opponent is, it doesn’t really give you anything to go on.  You need to know him, how he operates, you need to know his tactics and tendencies. Don’t you realize that he knows your’s?!? The devil studies you. He knows your strengths, your weaknesses, your likes, your dislikes, your past, your family, your friends, your fears, and yes he knows your type and you better believe He will send you a man that looks like Lance Gross to try to get you to fall! We need to know the enemy, so that we are fully prepared when he attacks. We need to be prepared to the point where we can anticipate what he’s going to do and we aren’t taken by surprise when he pulls out certain plays.

So let’s dive in. The first thing you need to know is the devil’s motive, what is he trying to gain? What is his ultimate goal and purpose? John 10:10 tells us the answer to that question, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” The devil is ultimately out for your destruction. His goal is to take you out. He can’t afford to have you out there making more disciples, walking in your calling, and fulfilling your purpose. He desires that as many as possible join him in hell for eternal damnation (Misery loves company y’all!). So each and every day he will try to pull you away from God and onto his side.

The next thing you need to know about the enemy is his tactics. God has given us the inside scoop, the Bible is littered with the devil’s tactics (We got the devils playbook in the bible y’all.  And better than that we have in the bible counterattacks to the attacks of the Enemy. God’s got our backs! He has already mapped out the game plan!). As Christians in today’s age, we can see how Satan used specific tactics on other believers. We see some caught in the Enemy’s traps and others that manage to escape. So now on to the tactics of the Enemy…

The first tactic of the Enemy is DOUBT.  Doubt is when you are uncertain about something, you consider it questionable or unlikely; you hesitate to believe. The devil loves to play mind games. He likes to plant seed of doubt in your mind with a simple thought that causes you to question God, His Word and His goodness. When the devil tries to wage a battle in your mind you need to do what it says in II Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Cast out those thoughts that cause you to question and doubt God. Bring those thoughts under subjection, refuse to allow them a place of exaltation above God (refuse to allow them a place of exaltation period.) and make those thoughts obey Christ. Remember the devil knows when you are operating in doubt you aren't operating in faith and he begins to do a mini victory dance! Shut those doubtful thoughts down and shut the devil down too!

The next tactic the Enemy uses is DISCOURAGEMENT. To discourage is to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit. Being a Christian doesn't exempt you from difficult situations. When things get hard the devil loves to play on that situation. He can make you feel discouraged by causing you to look at your problems rather than at God. When the devil tries to pull this number on you do what is says in Psalm 121:1, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.” When the devil tries to discourage you by having you look at how bad your situation is, you look up at God and realize that He is greater! He is greater than whatever you situation might be and He is able. Look at Him and see Him walking you through that Red Sea situation on dry land. Stop letting the devil and that situation make you think that God can’t bring you out. God is able. You are a child of God and the God we serve is a big God. That situation you’re in is like an ant trying to come up against God. Tell the devil to go kick rocks with that discouragement mess and that your Daddy is already in the process of handling the situation.

Another tactic of the Enemy is DIVERSION. A diversion is an act of diverting or turning aside, as from a course or purpose. As Christians we are all on a specific road with a specific purpose and calling on our lives. The devil desires to steal you away from your purpose. So he sets up diversions on billboards along your road to your purpose and calling to try to lure you away from your purpose by making the wrong things seem attractive so that you will want them instead of your purpose and God. **Added Bonus** Many of us are on the road to our purpose and we’re also single. This Word is for all my singles. The One that God has picked out specifically for you is not a diversion. He/she doesn't take you off course, they keep you on course. He/she is not a distraction. They were created to be your companion on this journey; God is taking you both in the same direction because there is some way in which He is going to use you both to build up the Kingdom of God together. The One for you pushes you closer to God, they don’t pull you away from Him. So do you have a diversion or the One?!? #diversioncheck

Another tactic of the Enemy is DEFEAT. In this life we have things we deem successes and things we deem failures. Defeat in this instance is the devil preying on your feelings of certain situations and making you feel like a failure so that you don’t even try. I know I've been in a place where I didn't even want to try because things just weren't working out. But here’s the thing that made me laugh while I was typing this blog, the devil tries to make us feel defeated when he’s the one that’s defeated (In this instance to defeat means to overcome in a battle, contest, election, etc; prevail over; vanquish.). It’s almost like he’s trying to project his own feelings onto us by trying to make us feel defeated as well. Honey, stop wallowing in feelings of defeat, lift up you head and try again, you posses the favor of the King of Kings. That thing didn't work out because it wasn't meant too, it was all a part of God’s plan and He’s got better in store for you. Remember in the end you win, you’re on the winning team, we've got the victory. The devil has already been defeated. Stop allowing him to make you feel defeated too. Act like you’re on the winning team! You're a victor, not a victim!

You have to know your opponent in order to fight effectively and ultimately win. Let's wise up to the Enemy's tactics so that we are better prepared when he tries to use them on us. Part II will be up soon. I love you all so much!!!

Mariah

(All definitions are from Dictionary.com)