Dear Single Ladies

Dear Single Ladies,


Please remember your value and worth. I know you are tempted to put yourself on the clearance rack, to settle, to discount yourself, to let the girls out, to hike up that skirt, to show that flat stomach (I mean you've got the body why not put it on display...everyone else does), to let the cookies out of the cookie jar (why not do a test drive), and etc. I mean let's be honest, abstinence is not a particularly popular notion this day and age, quite the contrary, many people find it down right absurd! They can't for the life of them understand why you would "deprive" yourself and you're tired of explaining why to people. I know some of you are even more tempted to discount yourself because you haven't even had a prospect in months, some of you years! You honestly would just like a man to notice you. Trust me when I say I understand how you feel. I'm currently in this boat, which I am calling the "No Prospects In Sight Boat" lol.

Please allow me, as your sister in Christ, to encourage you, warn you, and give you some advice. Don't give into this temptation and please don't allow yourself to get to a place of desperation! In this journey of singleness veering down the road of desperation should be prefaced with a sign stating "DANGER!" Desperation by definition is a state of despair, typically one that results in rash or extreme behavior. Your vision is clouded when you're desperate. Your thoughts are irrational...you think things like:

My biological clock is ticking!
Everyone I went to high school & college with is either married or married with kids or just got engaged or pregnant!
I'm 25 and I'm not married. I'm officially and old maid (FYI I've actually been called an old maid)!!!

                    

Being in this dangerous place called desperation you will settle for the first guy that comes along and miss all the red flags screaming he is NOT God's best for you. Don't settle for good-looking, well dressed, and a heart far from God because you think God has forgotten about you or this is the best you can do since no one else has come along. I don't care if he looks like Michael B. Jordan or as some like to call him Michael Bae Jordan if he and Satan are homies! I read something the other day that really resonated with me. I hope this helps some of you ladies that are also in the "No Prospects In Sight Boat," that have literally sat down trying to figure out why you're single. I mean you've gone over your attributes and you just don't get it. I know I'm not the only one that has ticked off their fingers saying I'm pretty, smart, kind, a Christian, I have a job, I've got good credit...WHY IN THE WORLD AM I SINGLE?!? All my single ladies in that boat here is the quote and I really hope it helps, "The cheapest prices attract the most customers." The first thing I told you was to remember your value and worth. You have great value sis and you're worth far more than rubies. You're a diamond. A diamond unclaimed is still a diamond. There aren't many that are willing to pay the price for you, but there is someone out there hand-picked by God who is. Don't be discouraged or feel forgotten or like something is wrong with you or that you should lay your morals and standards down by the riverside because there are no prospects in sight. Know that you are valued, you have great worth, you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the very image of God, you are special, and you are absolutely beautiful! And some amazing, hand-picked man of God will come along and recognize that, pursue you, and put a ring on it! But until then here is my advice to you:

1. If you realize that you are in a place of desperation for a man, recognize that a man is the last thing you need. You need to get to a place where you are content with it just being you and God. You need to learn that your identity is not wrapped up in your relationship status, but in Christ. Learn to love your own company. And realize that no man will ever love you as much as your Heavenly Father does. 
2. Stop comparing yourself to your peers. We see it on social media all the time, friends from high school and college, co-workers, followers, and etc. getting engaged, married, and having babies...And we look at them and are envious because they have something we don't have and desire to have. I remember being in this place and I honestly found myself annoyed and jealous, like why can't I have that?!? Why isn't it my turn yet?!? You know what the funny thing is though, many of those that we are comparing ourselves to and are envious of, we don't even know them for real!!! We see a filtered version of their lives and a filtered version of their relationship. In real life, their relationship could be the last thing we should to be envious of, but we are in love with the pretty picture they allow us to see. Seriously, if you go on my Facebook or Instagram you would think I wear makeup all the time...I wear makeup once at most twice a week. We have to stop making followers, Facebook & Instagram friends, and celebrities #relationshipgoals. You don't really know their relationship. We also have to stop comparing and get to a place where you can celebrate others. You'll never be a satisfied single if you insist on always comparing yourself to others. Satisfaction and comparison can't co-exist if you're trying to embrace being single.
3. Give your desires and dreams to be in a relationship, to be married, and to have children over to God. Lay them down at His feet. Stop trying to write your own love story and allow God to write it.
4. Sit down and do a self-check/heart-check to see if you've made marriage/being in a relationship an idol. If it is revealed to you that this is the case, pray and repent asking God to forgive you.  (Exodus 20:3-6   3 “You shall have no other gods before me.4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.) 
5. Realize life doesn't begin when you're married or in a relationship. You've got purpose whether you're in a relationship or not. Marriage is not a prerequisite for purpose. Stop pressing the pause button on your life because you don't have a man! Don't put your life on hold. Take advantage of this time as a single. Refuse to waste your singleness. Go on trips, travel, learn new things, read books, go back to school, go to concerts, go to conferences, wear that dress you've been saving for a date & go out with your girls and etc. (Why do you need a man to wear a beautiful dress?!?) Do things just for you while there's no one looking for you to check in, come home at a certain time, make dinner, do laundry, make their lunch, take them to their soccer games & dance class, and help them with their homework. 
6. While it may not be the popular choice abstain from sex before marriage and practice modesty. Keep those cookies in the cookie jar. And keep your goodies and treasures covered. I'm not saying you have to dress like a nun (and that's no shade to nuns), wearing dresses/skirts down to your ankles & turtlenecks all the time, but your boobs should not be on full display having a full blown conversation with a man that hasn't put a marriage certificate in your hand. And the only cheeks that should be visible are those on your face. Let's be cognizant of our brothers in Christ and not cause them to stumble.
7. Spend crazy amounts of time with God. Study the Word. Go to Bible Study. Join a Small Group. Read books. A good book to read if you're single is Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. Recognize that you'll never have this much free time ever again, not when you have a husband and babies!
8. Get busy for God. What are you doing to build up the kingdom? Have you gotten involved at your church? Find out what your spiritual gifts are if you haven't already and use those gifts to glorify God.
9. Spend time with friends that are in the same place in their life as you. I'm not saying you can't have friends that are married or in relationships. However, you need other single female friends that are Christian around to encourage you when you're not feeling so content, that will get on their face and pray for you, that celebrate you, that desire to see you grow spiritually, and will hold you accountable. Here are some of my beautiful friends that have helped me so much during my single season. I can't even tell you how many heart to hearts we've had, I've lost count. I love each of these ladies to the moon and back!

           

I pray this letter was helpful for you ladies. Remember your value and worth. Don't settle. Don't discount yourself. Don't put yourself on the clearance rack. And allow God free reign in your life letting him write your love story. He's already written you the most epic love story by loving you so much He sent His Son to die for you. You better believe He's weaving another beautiful love story together just for you. You're not forgotten. I love you my fellow single ladies and sisters in Christ!!! I'm praying for you during your single season. I'm gonna sign off now seeing as this letter has gotten a tad long lol.

Love you bunches xoxo

Mariah 

Don't Abandon Your RelationSHIP With God

It's been a long time my loves since I've blogged. I hope you all are doing well. I gotta get this blog out...

So, I was driving to work this morning and I was praying. It takes me 30-40 minutes to get to work in the morning, sometimes I listen to music, but lately I’ve found beauty in the silence and have enjoyed talking to God during this time. I was talking to God about my future husband and how whoever he is I want us to be able to talk to one another about anything and everything. I was just noticing that sometimes I miss out on moments with the people that are in my company at the time because my attention is divided and I’m on my phone (i.e. texting, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, etc.) or doing multiple things. So, I was praying that whenever, God decides to cross our paths that we would be able to give one another our undivided attention when we go out and truly be able to talk to each other. You know #RelationshipGoals. While I was praying about this, God placed marriage in general on my mind and I began to think about how rare it is that couples stay together and how awesome it is when you hear couples say things like, “We’ve been married for 50 years!” You see so many instances where marriages are short lived and don’t end up lasting. It seems like no one stays together anymore. 

I get to thinking about this and God begins to show me how I have a tendency to think, “Gosh, no one takes vows seriously…”and how I see relationships and marriages not work out and I judge them thinking you made vows, to stick by one another in sickness and in health, through the good and the bad, til death do you part and you just walked away like those vows meant nothing. (Yes, I understand there are cases when people need to get out of their marriage because there is abuse, etc). So, y’all know God checked me lol! It’s so easy to think something about certain topics, or judge people sometimes unintentionally until God shows you yourself in that thing! This is what He showed me…You can be quick to judge those who’s marriages and relationships are incredibly short lived or they cheat on their significant other, but how often do you walk away from me and cheat on me?!? Mariah, you are guilty of this, when it comes to your relationship with me. You say you’re committed to me, but as soon as things get difficult, or you get in your feelings, or your body says it’s tired…you give into it and stop coming home to me. I’m the one thing in your life that is CONSTANT and you walk away from me and neglect me for temporal things and people that can never be there for you all the time. I AM and ALWAYS will BE and you leave me for TEMPORAL. You’ve got idols littered in your life that you’ve allowed to take my place. You walk around calling yourself a Christian, you made vows to me and took that name, but your relationship with me exists when it is CONVENIENT for you.

Don’t treat your relationship with God like a marriage of convenience. Your relationship with God is a beautiful gift and should be treated as something you treasure. #RelationshipGoals

A Christian is a follower of Christ, someone with a relationship with me. You took my name, but you don’t always come home to me. You’ve been a nominal Christian lately, Mariah, a Christian in name only, but your lifestyle has not reflected that you are a Christian or that you belong to me. You’ve gone days…weeks…months without seeking me out, without diving into my Word and allowing me to pour out into you. You’re running on empty because of your lack of time spent in my presence.

It’s kinda difficult to pour out to others, when you’re empty.

Plug into me.

Not just for them, but more importantly for you. #StayPluggedIn #RelationshipGoals

So you’re not out there having sex, going to the club, cursing, stealing, killing people, etc. And yea, you still attend church on Sundays, but you’re going through the motions. You’re trying to keep up the appearance of a Christian to save face in front of people. You’re more concerned with what people think than about really working on our relationship.  

So after He hit me with that I’m just like #convictedmuch #completelywrecked. I got wrecked again as I typed this blog, with tears streaming down my face. After, God wrecked me, He enlightened me and gave me revelation. We as Christians have to get to a place and come to a point where through everything we don’t forsake our relationship with God. Through friendships, relationships, breakups, emotions, feelings, ups & downs, good times & bad, dry seasons & fruitful seasons, losses & gains, smiles & tears, trials & tribulations, sickness & health that regardless of it all we come home to God. We don’t ignore, neglect, forget, or walk away from Him.

We need to get like Job. Even after losing everything, he remained faithful to God and did not curse him, on the contrary when he lost all his possessions and family he fell to the ground and worshiped God:

“Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, ‘I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!’ In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.” ~Job 1:20-22  

Lord, grow faithfulness within us, grow a Yet Will I Praise You within us that in the midst of anything and everything, and despite changes in circumstances our praise will remain. And we won’t abandon SHIP when our RELATIONSHIP with you is met with some turbulence and difficulty. When our surroundings are no longer pretty and we are stripped of people, let us still come home to you and have a Yet Will I Praise You spirit. It's easy to praise God when everything is going great, its harder when things are bad. That's when you have to sacrifice a praise, and have a Yet Will I Praise You moment!

We should treat our relationship with God like a treasured relationship not a marriage/relationship of convenience. The status of our relationship with God should not be it's complicated because there are other parties (idols) involved. #relationshipgoals 

Something else God showed me is that our relationship with Him is going to require us to press sometimes. You’re going to have to push past your flesh and your excuses. You’re going to have to press in order to get into His presence. You’re going to have to be intentional. You’re going to have to prioritize God because the reality is you’re not going to want to pray all the time, you’re not going to want to leave the comfort of your bed to press into His presence. You’re not going to always want to read your bible. You’re going to feel too tired to go to bible study. That time of month is going to roll around and all you’re going to want to do is curl up in bed and watch Netflix. But, if we truly desire a relationship with Him, we have to realize that it’s not going to be a walk in the park. Your relationship God is going to require press and work. Relationships are a two-way street. You have to put something into it for it to work.

The last thing He showed me is striving to please Him, should always trump striving to please people. How much of a fail would it be going through the motions of having a committed relationship with God, and keeping up the appearance of that for people, only to die going through the motions and have God say, “Depart from me. I never knew you.” Forget appearances, get real and get right in your relationship with God. Be more concerned with walking through heavens gates, than walking down the aisle to the preacher, admitting that you’ve backslid! Be more concerned about what God’s gonna say, (“Depart from me. I never knew you,” or “Well done thy good and faithful servant”) than what people will say. Forget your title, and ensure your eternal destination is in heaven with the Father. So, you’re a minister, a deacon, a missionary, an elder, a Sunday School/Bible Study teacher, etc., don’t let your title or your concern for what people will think keep you from getting right with God.

I don’t know if this blog was for anyone else or if it was only for me, but let me tell you something about God: He will wreck you, enlighten you, and then he will restore you. God will be the Hosea to your Gomer, loving you unconditionally even when you place idols before Him, going after you when you leave & run away from Him, find you valuable when everyone else sees you as worthless & disposable, and He will buy you back when you sell yourself (Hosea 1-3). He will restore you like Jesus did Peter after He denied Him three times before the rooster crowed (John 21:15-17). And He will welcome you with open arms like the Father did, when the Prodigal Son returned home and celebrate your return (Luke 15: 11-24). We all mess up and make mistakes, but, Romans 3:23-24 tells us, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” Let me tell you what the commentary in my NLT Life Application Bible says about these verses, “Paul explains that God declares that we are righteous. When a judge in a court of law declares the defendant not guilty, all the charges are removed from his record. Legally, it is as if the person had never been accused. When God forgives our sins, our record is wiped clean. From his perspective, it is as though we had never sinned. He could do this because Jesus took the penalty that we deserved. Christ purchased our freedom from sin, and the price was his life.” If this blog sounded like you, pray, repent, turn away from that thing, and know that you are forgiven. God loves you so much and so do I. I pray this blog blessed someone. Oh, and one last thing make these #RelationshipGoals a reality. Don't abandon ship, as in your relationship with God. It is important, necessary, vital and a beautiful gift.

Love you bunches,

Mariah

Some of my favorite worship music...Enjoy my girl, Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger (Yet Will I Praise You) and Hillsong (Touched The Sky) 

People Pleasing Or Should I Say People Bondage

This is a Word  I spoke for The Changed Hearts I Am Woman - Woman 2 Woman Online Conference. 

Message:

When Angel first asked me to be a part of this conference, I was really excited about it, but at the same time really nervous. God has a funny way of calling those of us who are much more comfortable in the background to the forefront. But I’ve learned that He will be with you every step of the way as He takes you out of your comfort zone. So, one day I was praying and asking God, what it was that He would have me to speak on that I’ve overcome, and He hits me with PEOPLE PLEASING! So that is what I’m going to talk about today. I want to start off by looking at the definition of people pleasing, but before I do that I just want to say this because I don’t you all to take this out of context. There are instances where people pleasing can be good and there’s nothing wrong with it. For instance, husbands and wives desiring to please each other, children wanting to please their parents, etc. Now, the problem arises when it goes to the extreme and you strive to please people over God and you esteem and exalt people and their opinions over God and His opinions. Now, that I’ve got that out of the way; let’s look at the definition of people pleasing.

Definition:

People Pleasing is when who you are and what you do is conditional on the crowd and what they are doing. People Pleasing is a cause and effect thing. Your behavior is based off of the reactions of people. Everything you do is to get a positive reaction or response from people.

            Characteristics of People Pleasers:

1.     Deep rooted inability to stand alone. They have this need for company, this need to not be the only one. They have the Follower Syndrome, they don’t want to lead, they want to follow someone else.

2.     Identity is wrapped up in people and their opinions. They are experiencing an identity crisis because they are searching for validation in people and we know that our identity is found in Christ.

My Story:

Now, how does this relate to me…people pleasing is something that I have struggled with. I guess I should start from the beginning…I grew up in the church. I got saved when I was 8 years old. I was young, excited and eager to learn about God. Then as I grew up, I was around kids that weren’t excited about God and learning about Him and I slowly fell off the Christian train. I wanted to fit in with my peers. I called myself a Christian, but I never picked up my bible or prayed outside of church. I wasn’t until I went off the college and started attending New Life Ministries my sophomore year, that I rededicated my life to God, and I got serious about my relationship with Him. I was 19. After rededicating my life, God surrounded me with like-minded peers who were serious about their relationship with God and on fire for Him. A few years later my surroundings changed. The crowd of people I was around changed. It’s easy to be a Christian when it’s popular, when you are around on fire, souled out Christians, it can be hard when you are around unbelievers or “church folk” (church folk are church members that call themselves Christians, but they simply sit in church, don’t participate, but spectate). I was no longer surrounded by like-minded peers and being the only one, being different…I didn’t want that. I became consumed with what others, specifically my peers thought of me. In essence, the crowd, my surroundings changed and I changed right along with it. I sat on my praise and my worship. I wanted to blend in, not stand out. And that was a problem. God had to show me what I was doing and how trifling I was.

Some Truth About People Pleasing:

There’s a scripture that I want to read, Galatians 1:10, this is the apostle Paul speaking to the church of Galatia, “Obviously I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Let me share some truth with you. Whoever’s opinion you are more concerned with is who you are a servant to or who you are bound to. Are you bound to people or are you bound to God?!? Who’s opinion controls your actions? You either go out of your way for God or you go out of your way for people. If the opinions of people are what is most important to you then you can be a so called Christian one day and then the people around you change and you’re condoning those things that you know God opposes or you’re ready to outright deny God what He is due. This is when the danger with people pleasing comes in…

The Danger With People Pleasing – Why It Must Stop

1.  I just said it, people pleasing will have you denying God what He is due…denying Him the praise He is due, denying Him worship and denying Him all together. You’ll be sitting around saying what if Susie thinks this or Johnny thinks that. I want you to think about this, what if Jesus comes back while you’re in the midst of denying Him what He is due because you are more concerned with people and their opinions?!?

2.  It makes you fickle, which isn’t a good thing. Who you are and what you do is dependent on your surroundings. You go along with what is popular, which can change as often as some women change their hair. When so concerned about people and their opinions, you can be as fickle as a leaf, blown in whatever direction the wind takes you. Your Christianity is like a light switch that is turned on or off depending on the vast majority of those around you. Your Christianity can’t be based on whether or not it’s cool to be a Christian.

3.  It’s bondage! We should change the name from people pleasing to people bondage. God showed me that people pleasing is bondage a while back, but He showed me the depth to which it is bondage while I was reading my Abundant Life devotional for February 28^th. The scripture for this particular devotion was one that I would have never guessed that the author, Nancy Guthrie would use and that’s Matthew 7:13-14, which says, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who chose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” This is what God showed me, You can’t make it through the gateway to life when you are shackled and bound to the crowd! You can’t live a life that is pleasing to God when you’re too busy living to please people. I was at a service a couple years ago and I went up to the altar for prayer and the Prophetess looked at me and said I just strings all over you. And I’m thinking strings?!? What is she talking about strings for, I came up here for prayer! As you have probably figured out, I didn’t get it then. And I had forgotten about it, but God brought it back to my remembrance and gave me a clear picture of what she meant earlier this year. He brought to my mind a marionette doll, those puppets that are controlled by strings that are moved in different directions by a person. 

      It was then that I understood what she meant when she said I see all these strings on you. When you are a people pleaser, you're like a marionette doll that is tugged and pulled in different directions by people. People have a hold on you. I know I’m not the only one to struggle with people pleasing. I want all those struggling to get this: You can’t fit through the narrow gate when there are 20+ people who’s opinions you are attached to, their opinions trump God. Being bound by people and their opinions will have you on the highway to hell (recognize that is the direction the “crowd” is going in, only a few are on the narrow road)! Why? Numero Uno, people have become your god, you exalt them and their opinions above the Father. They are what you treasure, and focus your attention on. You’re more concerned with being well-liked than souls being saved. You’re more concerned with people liking you posts than the Truth and holiness. **Newsflash** You can’t people please your way into heaven! So stop leaving the narrow road that leads to eternal life for the wide road because you are following the crowd. The wide road leads to eternal damnation!

Freedom From People Bondage – Overcoming

So, how can we overcome?!? How can we be free from the chains of people bondage because there is no possible way for you to be completely souled out for God when your soul and very identity is tied to people and their opinions of you and what you do?!?

1.  The first step to being free is recognizing that you are bound. There’s no desire for freedom when an individual doesn’t realize they are in bondage.

2.  The next step is to admit it to yourself and to God. God already knew, but he wants you to come to Him with it, and ask Him to help you and break you of this thing. Jesus came because He saw us bound and He came “to set the captives free,” Luke 4:18.

3.  The next step is to recognize that your identity is found in Christ and not people, their opinions or your popularity with people. Stop looking for validation in fellow creations, your Creator, the Almighty God, validates you. He calls you chosen, a royal priesthood, fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His very image.

4.  Pray and meditate on scriptures that focus on pleasing God rather than man.

5.  Realize that striving to please people is exhausting! That will help you be free from it, when you realize it’s impossible to please everyone.

6.  Check yourself and ask was I most concerned with pleasing God above all else. 

I love you all so much and so does God! Be blessed! And be free from people!

Mariah

Is Prayer Your Steering Wheel Or Your Spare Tire?

            Relationships…there are many different types. There is the relationship between an employer & their employee, mother & daughter, father & son, boyfriend & girlfriend, husband & wife, neighbors, etc. While all these relationships are important, the most important relationship that any of us have is our relationship with God. Our relationship with God should be exalted above any other relationship that we have, but sometimes that is not always the case. I know I am guilty of doing this. If you were to ask someone right now what they have observed is the most important relationship in your life, what do you think they would say? Would they say your relationship with God? Something to think about and check. #idolcheck

            Take a look at all the relationships in your life. One thing that all your thriving relationships have in common is good communication. For any relationship to continue, the two parties involved must talk. They have to communicate with one another. They have to express what they are feeling and they have to be able to listen to each other. Communication involves both parties talking and not at the same time because you are not listening when you are talking. We communicate with God when we pray. I know many times we talk about how prayer is a dialogue and not a monologue, but today I want to talk about this quote from Corrie Ten Boom:

 

            I saw this on Instagram about a month ago and ya’ll should have seen my face…my eyes got so big! This definitely struck a chord with me. #convictedmuch Allow me to tell you what God showed me through this quote, “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” First I want to look at the difference between a steering wheel and a spare tire. Most of you have a car and a job. Thus, you use your steering wheel everyday most likely to take yourself to work, the grocery store, shopping, church, etc. But if you are like me, you don’t use your spare tire nearly as much, often times it is forgotten. I’ve had my car (Her name is April lol), for almost a year and I have yet to be forced to use my spare time. When prayer is your steering wheel it should be like unto a steering wheel, you use/do it every day. You and God communicate every day. You consult and acknowledge Him every day. You live by Proverbs 3:4-5, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” You and God know each other, you are familiar with one another, you’ve had so many conversations. You are aware that your relationship’s growth is dependent on the two of you communicating with one another, just like any other relationship. Those that you are closest too are those that you talk to the most, and nothing stops the communication, not even distance. My best friend, Angel and I talk every single day in some form, usually a couple forms. We text, call, tweet, groupme, facebook chat, Instagram, etc…you get the picture. The same is true with your relationship with God. I Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Never stop praying.” The communication between you and God should never stop. You talk to Him when things are good, bad, happy, sad, ugly, beautiful, etc.

            Let’s look at the other side of this…when God is your spare wheel. This is what God showed me about when God is your spare wheel. Spare wheel, as in you only pray when incidents and accidents come up. Basically you have an IF/THEN prayer life. What is an IF/THEN prayer life?!? It basically means that IF something outrageous happens, something you didn’t see coming, you have exhausted all other options and are forced to turn to God, THEN you pray. God is your backup plan. You only go to Him when you are in great need. But IF that is not the case THEN your prayer life does not exist. YOUR PRAYER LIFE IS CONDITIONAL. #ouchthathurt Certain conditions and prerequisites have to be met in order for you to communicate with God. It sounds really bad when you put it like that doesn’t it? But that’s what it is. If these conditions aren’t met, then you don’t find yourself praying and that shouldn’t be the case. Prayer should be a common occurrence, not a sporadic incident. If you are like me, you are so guilty of this. Essentially, you do your own thing when God is your spare tire, you are in the driver’s seat, you are directing your own path and its only when something goes terribly wrong that you find yourself offering up a prayer. God being your spare tire reminds me of those people in all of our lives that we only hear from and see when someone is sick, dying or getting married. I personally find that incredibly annoying…how do you think God feels. Oh she only talks to me when things get bad or she needs something. It’s like you only acknowledge God when something BIG happens. This is when you need to expand your definition of BIG. God woke you up this morning. That is huge! Someone didn’t wake up this morning, someone passed on during the night. We can’t only acknowledge God when we are forced to do so, when we don’t feel in control, not realizing that we were never in control in the first place. God is in control of the universe, but He is a gentleman and gives us free will and will allow us to take the reins until we realize that He knows far better than us and we let Him take the reins.

            Sometimes we look at our relationship with God and wonder why we aren’t growing and thriving in our relationship with Him. I would say, take a look at your prayer life. How often do you talk to the Father? I saw this on Twitter once, “You are currently as close to God as you want to be.” If talking is a huge part of your good, thriving relationships with people why wouldn’t it be a huge part of your relationship with God. We have to be intentional about setting aside time for God, time to pray and just talk to Him. I myself am still growing in this area y’all and I need to do better. So, how important is your relationship with God? Do you exalt praying to Him, like unto the steering wheel of your car or is praying to Him more like the lowly spare tire in your car, that is often forgotten about until some incident or accident occurs?!? Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?!? #checkyourself I pray that this blesses you like it did me and that if you discover that prayer is like your spare tire that you pray to God and ask Him to help you and that you would make every effort to make prayer your steering wheel. I pray that all of us would have a craving for the time we spend on our knees talking to God, that we would want to talk to Him all the time. I love you all so much and so does God! God bless you!

Mariah

No More Condemnation

There is no more condemnation. This post is inspired by something my best friend, Angel said in her VLOG on Humility.

                Now this is not something I’m proud of, but I’m going to share it anyway. I remember in college cheating on an exam and getting caught. Now this was not the first time I had cheated, but this was the first time I got caught. I had to meet with my professor and discuss what course of action she was going to take against me. I remember going to my dorm, getting in my bed and just laying there with this sinking feeling in my stomach and wondering how I had got to this point. The guilt I felt was overwhelming. I didn’t tell my two best friends at the time because I was too ashamed. I didn’t want them to look at me differently. I nearly broke down when I had to tell my parents. Let’s just say that was the worst Winter Break ever because I was so consumed with my guilt. I ultimately didn’t get what I deserved, my professor showed me mercy and I was not brought up to the Honor Board. I took a failing grade in the class and ended up retaking the class (using a repeat forgiveness) next semester and passing with a B. I remember crying and praying to God and asking Him over and over again to forgive me. I just knew that God wouldn’t forgive me for what I had done. **Added Bonus** I’m gonna throw this in for free. As Christians sometimes we sin once and when there are no immediate consequences or we feel like we haven’t been seen by anyone or got caught (completely forgetting that God sees and knows all! He is omniscient), and we can find ourselves doing that thing again. It’s like if I got away with it once, I can get away with it again. Now, we know this thing that we are doing is wrong. We know its sin and felt guilty the first couple times we did it. But sometimes you do something so many times that you don’t even feel guilty anymore, you’ve become desensitized to your sin. It’s become second nature. You don’t want to ever get to this point! The point where God has to let you hit rock bottom so that you go back to Him and turn away from your sin because you’re not even aware its sin anymore.

                If you’re like me at one point in your life you’ve been consumed by your guilt over something you have done. You’ve known that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, we’ve felt ashamed. And ultimately just felt what I’ve done God can’t forgive me of. I’m here to tell you God can and will forgive you if you come back to Him and repent. What you’ve done does not condemn you. Romans 8:1 tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” You are not condemned for what you’ve done. That is a tactic of the Enemy to prey on your emotions and feelings of guilt and shame and make you think and feel you can’t go back to God after doing what you’ve done; God will not welcome you back or forgive you. The devil is a liar!!! We are not living in Old Testament times where people are stoned to death for the sin they’ve committed. Jesus told the people ready to stone the woman caught in the act of adultery, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” No one was able to condemn to woman and neither did Jesus. He instructed her to go and sin no more.

                One of my favorite worship artists is Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger. I feel like I mention my girl, Steff all the time, but she is amazing! Be sure to check her out, she will have you on your face! There is a video of her on YouTube singing the song Stronger. My favorite part of the song says, “You are stronger, you are stronger. Sin is broken. You have saved me. It is written, Christ is risen. Jesus, you are Lord of all.” Jesus is stronger and bigger and more powerful than your sin. Your sin is not too great that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross didn’t cover it. You’ve not fallen so far from grace that you can’t come back to God. Jesus knew every sin you would ever commit and He still died for you. He still went to Calvary for you. Another part of the song says, “There is love that came for us, humbled to a sinner’s cross. You broke my shame and sinfulness. You rose again victorious.” Stop allowing your sin to have power over you and dictate to you, whether or not you can be forgiven by God. Jesus didn’t die for specific sins, He died for all sins. He died for the worst possible thing you’ve ever done. He died so that horrible sin you committed couldn’t keep you from the Father. The blood Jesus shed on the cross will cover your entire wrap sheet of sins, not just the ones you deem as little sins. His blood that was shed on the cross is your full coverage plan! If you get nothing else from this post, grasp this: Our God is a God that forgives and restores. After Peter denied Christ three times, Jesus didn’t chuck up the deuces and tell Peter he could no longer be a disciple. Jesus forgave him and restored him.  God will forgive you and restore you no matter what you’ve done. You are not condemned, there is no more condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. I pray that this blessed you.

Love you all to pieces,

Mariah

Here is the VLOG on Humility by Angel that I mentioned that inspired this post and the song by Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger. 

Becoming One With God

“Learn to love God first.  Being single with God is learning to become one with God and essentially that’s what marriage is too. The two shall become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24). This is the final quote from a video I saw on Youtube called “Don’t Waste Your Singleness” by Joe Solomon.  I watched this video before preparing to go bed and the becoming one with God is the part of the video that really stuck with me. And I began to wonder how this is possible. So I’m slipping into bed, I’m like its late, time to get some rest and God would not let me go to sleep and He begins to show me how…He shows me how to become one with Him and how it is very much the same as a married couple would become one. When you are one with someone you are existing, acting or considered a single unit, entity, or individual (In this case I am referring to the first two). I’m just going to dive in...

I thought this was a given, but I am going to include it anyways. Before you can become one with God, you have to accept His proposal. He desires a committed relationship with you. You accept His proposal when confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and then you are saved (Romans 10:9) and have entered in to a relationship with God. Now, here is what God showed me…How to become one with God.

1.      Expose Yourself Completely. Bring all your mess to the table. No secrets! A couple weeks ago I was having Quiet Time and I was reading and studying in the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 25, which says, “Now the man and his wife were both naked but they felt no shame.” I have an NLT Life Application Study Bible and the commentary for this verse straight went in! I’m just going to summarize it, for the entire quote, check out the picture below. My bible started off by talking about how innocent children are to nakedness; they feel no shame. It goes on to say this was how Adam and Eve were before they sinned. But after they sinned they felt shame and awkwardness and this in turn created barriers between them and God. They even had a physical barrier they created to hide themselves in fig leaves. The commentary then talked about how ideally there should be no barriers in marriage but barriers are often experienced in marriages. After reading that commentary God hit me with this, “Have you exposed yourself completely to me or do you still have on your fig leaves?!?” #completelywrecked We can never become one with God if we refuse to show Him all of us and insist on hiding those parts of us we are to ashamed to show Him. My older sister and my brother-in-law told me once that when they got engaged they sat down with one another and put everything on the table. They discussed their debt, the credit scores, etc. They put everything out there so they could prepare for their life together and so there would be no secrets between them and no surprises down the road. God is saying that if we want to be one with Him, we have to expose ourselves completely to Him and stop hiding, and to come to Him with everything out in the open. He is saying show me every compartment of your heart, bring me your impure thoughts. He knows that we hide because we feel shame and we don’t want Him to see this ugly part of us, but He is the only one that can clean us up. Also remember that He makes all things new y’all (II Corinthians 5:17). Let Him create within you a clean heart (Psalm 51:10), and allow Him to renew your mind (Romans 12:2) and change your way of thinking. But for him to make us new and clean, for Him to transform us we have to expose ourselves completely to Him. And this in turn also brings us closer to Him and to becoming one with Him.

2.      Stop Operating As If You Are Independent And Submit. So this one has two parts. I’m gonna start with the first part…When you are independent you are not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc., you are doing the exact opposite, you are thinking or acting for oneself. You can never become one with God if you continue to operate as if it’s just you and there is absolutely no consideration or consultation of God. His opinion is of little importance to you and you just act based on what you think and what you feel. You are concerned with your will, not God’s will for your life. To become one with God we have to live by Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take.” King Solomon is clearly trying to impart some wisdom into us. Stop depending on yourself and what you think you understand and seek God’s will in all that you do. If you were married or are married it just wouldn’t work if one of you insisted on acting as if you were still single…not consulting the other and just making decisions based on your preferences and not taking your spouse into consideration. The same is true if we desire to be one with God. We must submit. We must yield to God. We can’t be one with God if we have two different agendas.  You and God need to be on one accord.

3.      Communication and Quality Time. Communication is vital to any relationship. You commune with God through prayer. You can’t expect to be one with God if your prayer life is nonexistent! You must communicate with God and allow Him the opportunity to speak to you. Prayer is not a monologue, it’s a dialogue. A huge part of communication is listening. You can’t hear God when you’re always the one talking. Sometimes you need to just be still and listen. Effective communication is a two-way street that leaves both feeling that they were heard. **Added bonus: You will never become one if the person you communicate the most with concerning your relationship is someone outside of your relationship (a third party). You have to talk to God. Quality time goes hand in hand with communication. You must spend time with someone if you are ever to become one with them. You can’t go days and weeks and months without spending quality time with God in prayer, bible study, praise & worship, etc. and then expect to be in a growing, thriving relationship with Him. Don’t deceive yourself. Time spent together is so important.

4.      Stick It Out. You and God have got to weather through some stuff together, some trials, some storms, some tribulations, some ups and some downs and you have to refuse to forsake Him because He will never forsake you. Instead of running away and abandoning God when things get hard, you have to choose to remain faithful. Divorce cannot be an option, if we are to become one and stay one. That door must be closed and in essence not even exist in your relationship. Situational changes shouldn’t pull you apart, but draw you closer to one another. There is nothing like those friends that have been with you through it all and have stuck with you and rocked with you through every season. They have simply been faithful and loyal to you. I have found that those are the people that I am the closest to. Here’s something to think about…Would God call you faithful?!? Is that a word He would use to describe you? That question stopped me in my tracks. I know for me that is something that I need to work on and I will get there with the help of God. But God showed me that if I can’t remain faithful to Him, what makes me think I’m ready to get married?!? If I can’t weather some storms with God, how can I possibly weather some storms with a husband?!? God is still molding, pruning, and shaping me y’all. God then showed me that for so many people, when it comes to marriage cheating is a deal breaker; it’s something they can’t get past. But how often do we cheat on God?!? We should work our hardest and call on God to help us to remain faithful and develop that characteristic within us.

5.      Let Go Of Lovers. Your lover, your sidechick, your lil boyfriend, your mistress, etc got to go! Who or what are your lovers you may ask? Your lovers are anything that rivals and competes for your attention and affection and hinders your relationship with God; they keep you from becoming one with God. Just like God instructs a husband to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24), you must leave to cleave. There are some things, people, behaviors, habits, etc you have to leave behind in order for your relationship with God to work and for the two of you to become one. You have to leave the things of this world behind and cleave to God. You can’t be joined to God if you refuse to let go and leave your sin behind. You can’t ever become one with God if the devil has custody of part of you. “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other…” (Matthew 6:24). I was having my Quiet Time when God smacked me in the face with this, “How can we be joined if polygamy is going on?!? How can we be joined solely to each other when there are third and fourth parties involved. Just look at the result of Jacob being married to both Rachel and Leah. Sisters became competitors and rivals, each desiring the love and attention and children of their husband Jacob (Genesis 30:1-24). There was no way for Jacob to ever be completely one with either of them because the other was always waiting in the wings.

Becoming one with God is possible, but it’s not something that will happen overnight, it comes with sticking with God through it all, the good, the bad, the hard, and the harder. I pray that this blessed you. I love you all so much! 

Mariah

P.S. I talk about my girl, Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger all the time, so I decided to share some videos of her leading worship at Bethel Church. She is a true worshiper and she will have you on your face crying out to God and just worshiping Him!!! The first video is Stef singing Stronger and the second one is her singing Show Me Your Glory. Also be sure to more of Joe Solomon's videos on YouTube (His YouTube channel is Chasegodtv)! He is an awesome man of God! All is videos are based in the Word.